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Tonight we would like to invite you all to a five-course meal…at Taco Bell. The Franchise Wars declared a winner is them in this classic Stallone stomp-fest. John Spartan is a cop who kicks names and takes ass (Huxley-ism). Unfortunately, he’s outsmarted by Simon Phoenix, a true agent of murderous, goofy chaos–and ends up being sent to prison and put into suspended animation for his efforts. ‘Cause y’know…that’s a thing they did in the ‘90s. Years later, he’s thawed to discover that Phoenix was also put on ice-but set free in the future to kill a guy named…Edgar…Friendly. No, really. He wakes to find his world has gone to shit, and then it got a healthy dose…of milquetoast. Surrounded by joy-joy be-well sissies, Spartan must deal with an urge to knit, evil Mr. Rogers, and those three fuckin’ seashells. All of this…and no smokes–or salt, caffeine, bad language, burgers, beers–hurray for the future! Join Daniel, Roland, and Rey as we marvel at the society of 2032 in all its wimpy cringe-glory.
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Store Door Chime and Projector used under The Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license
